Firemonkey

Så pluppar de då upp igen..

Alla dessa saker som man förutsätter, tror och i alla fall HOPPAS att folk ska förstå.

Eller i alla fall ifrågasätta.

Alla dessa FB-grupper som utlovar att du ska få se vem som besökt din sida, alla gratis telefoner, datorer, flygresor, you name it som anonseras ut

Alla "test" på FaceBooks högermarginal.

Den senaste i raden idiotier är en mängd sidor som alla på mer eller mindre samma sätt drar nytta av Spotify.

Få Spotify Premium Gratis! Utan reklam! Skriker de ut i etern.

Eller varför inte ett gratis Gamecard till World of Warcraft?

Eller en MÅNRESA!?

Ok, där tog jag i.. Men ni fattar poängen.

ALLT du behöver göra är att registrera dig och svara på några frågor...

Här tror man då att en tänkande individ skulle ha stannat upp och funderat, men vänta nu.. VARFÖR kan de ge bort ett gratis Spotify premium-abonemang?? Vad får DE ut av det hela.

Tyvärr är 90% av människor i allmänhet helt enkelt allt för jävla tröga i skallen för att fundera över detta.

Därför ska jag nu berätta varför.

Det här är vad vilkoren EGENTLIGEN betyder (9 gånger utav 10);

(10e gången är det någon bara någon som snor ditt kontokortsnummer)

ALLT du behöver göra är att:

1. Blir medlem

(Betyder; Regga dina uppgifter som sedans säljs vidare till telemarketingföretag med flera oberoende företag som "partners")

2. "bjud in" dina vänner.

(Betyder; spammar alla era vänner- dvs ger en genomslagskraft åt gratis marknadsföring för ett telemarketing-företag, helt utan att de behöver investera en krona för att få kundunderlag som vanligtvis är dyyyyrt..)

3. och svarar på frågor

(Betyder; Du tvingas svara på 100-tals frågor som gör att alla dessa företag får laglig rätt att ringa dig för du har ju deltagit i "kundundersökningen" och därmed godkänt samtal vid alla dygnets tidpunkter, från vart och ett av företagets "partners" (svara tex på EN fråga om underkläder och 5 företags-"partners" har rätt att kontakta dig för "uppföljning" av "kundundersökningen" du frivilligt gått med på)

I andra fall så tvingas du utnytja alla dessa fantastiska "ERBJUDANDE" (Läs SPAM) för att få dina dyrbara "poäng")

4 Få spotify

(Betyder; Om du loggar in på sidan ofta nog och deltar i många nog undersökningar KAN du faktiskt Få en kort period (ofta första månaden) vilket kostar företagen i fråga uppskattningsvis 20kr.

Vad som dock INTE nämns på företagens sidor är HUR MÅNGA poäng, och sålunda undersökningar, frågor och annat du måste ställa upp i för att kunna växla in dessa till något som helst...

Levererad marknads värde till företaget från dina inbjudningar och ditt godkännande av kontakt av alla anknytna företag = ett par tusen.. Minst.)

Bra deal?

NEJ

TACK.

Önskar att det var jag som stod bakom dessa företag.. jävlar va rik man skulle vara.

På sidan gratisspotify.se är man till och med vänlig nog att berätta hur det ligger till.. Man ser dock till att använda så invecklat språk som möjligt så vår average "attention-span 20sec" tonåring antagligen slutar läsa vid det där krångliga ordet Afflia.. What?

-Äh who cares, det står ju i webadressen att det är gratis..

(Notera även att sidan i fråga till och med lyckats stava Affiliate fel i sina försök att krångla till det.. Priceless)

"Genom att bli medlem på Gratisspotify.se har du möjligheten att tjäna ihop poäng för att sedan byta dessa mot Spotify Premium och andra belöningar.

Det fungerar på så sätt Gratisspotify.se har avtal med ett antal så kallade Affliate-nätverk. Dessa nätverk fungerar som mellanhand mellan annonsören och oss. På så sätt förmedlas annonsörens erbjudanden till oss och kan sedan slutligen utnyttjas av användaren. Som belöning för att utnyttja dessa erbjudanden erhåller användaren poäng vilka sedan kan växlas mot exempelvis Spotify Premium. "

Pasted from <http://gratisspotify.se/hur.php>

En gammal kamrat från "skoltiden", eller vad man nu kallar dessa avlägset bekanta som genom den nya generationens medium börjat dyka upp i ens vardagsliv redan när man öppnar lap-topen vid frukostbordet, har gjort ett utmärkt framträdande i landets mer dammiga kanaler, och måste därmed pushas ut till gemene man.

Ja, "gemene man" betyder dig, du ungdom som inte orkar öppna en ny flik för att googla fram svaret på en fråga ens om det ens utlovas belöning.

(Ett annat inlägg kommer troligtvis begrunda detta fenomen där bekantskaper och utbyte slungas mellan nivåer av "säga hej på gatan" till djupa invecklade meningsutbyten som igenom förströelse eller fakta berikar vårt liv. Men detta inlägg är mest för att sprida ett klipp..)

Här är sådeles klippet, föredömligt upplagt på YouTube av statens första radiokanal.

Kanske har de förstått innebörden av det kunskaps-samhälle vi LILA aktivister försöker skapa?

Håll till godo gott folk;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBlwq3Va15o&feature=player_embedded

Och som vanligt.. här är en extern länk  om NÄR Blogg.se bestämmer sig för att inte fungera;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBlwq3Va15o&feature=player_embedded

Sharing is Caring.

As we arrive back "home" after the Easter we find that the guarded community we live in has had burglars for visit over the holidays and two of our friends have lost their fairly expensive new lap-tops.

Not strange since almost every door on the residential buildings can easily be opened by any amateur with a screwdriver..

Still sad for our friends who feel so unsafe that they decide to terminate their stay and return to their respective country. Will miss them dearly.

To the institutions defence security is beefed up around the house in question, an intermediate fix is applied to the door (hardly increasing the difficulty of entry, but still) and rumours of full compensation for the lost lap-tops circle the campus.

Now over three weeks has passed, and the institution has yet to release any news about the incident..

Min fina vän Anna Hamilton har kommit med en ny skiva.

Tyvärr delar vi ju inte samma åsikter när det gäller strategi att nå ut med sin kultur, och destomer beklagligt så har hon insisterat på att trycka mästerverket på en plastbit vilket sådeles äter en stor del av den budget som annars kunde investerats i att göra henne stor större.

Hur som helst så finns skivan för nedladdning på de stora försäljningsplattformerna och även för lyssning på Spotify.

(kan eventuellt inte länka korrekt då en viss stormakt utövar lite väl mycket makt över det samhälle jag valt att leva i för att fri kulturspridning ska kunna ske på ett lagligt och (i vart fall i en övergångsfas) hållbart sätt.)

Nog med moralpredikan, se så, vad väntar ni på? Klick,klick, klick-e li klick.

Spring och köp!

Release-fest; http://www.walkofshame.se/

http://www.annahamilton.me/k%C3%B6pa-musik

http://www.myspace.com/studiohamilton

http://www.lastfm.se/music/Anna+Hamilton

http://cdon.se/musik/anna_hamilton/

http://www.folkbladet.nu/?p=170910

http://www.kulturbutik.se/musik/

(Image stolen from; http://www.annahamilton.me/k%C3%B6pa-musik

This is a little long story about Easter week.

It is also a story of the prise one has to pay to live in paradise.

Most of all it is a story about idiots.

The story begins on a Friday before Easter.

As I have told before we have got a new family member, named T-Rex. The mission was to extend the legal documents for her by crossing the border to Nicaragua for a few days. We later found out that this is not possible if you do not stay out of the country for 6 months or more.

Naively we still drove up to the border to try, if it did not work, at least we got a few good surf-days in San Juan del Sur out of the trip.

We thought.

To get our passports stamped with exit stamps went smooth. Then we were asked to turn around in order to get the car-papers stamped. Obviously this was handled by another office than the passport stamps.

After some time we found the office. Que.

After a long discussion regarding the tourist import papers being in the previous owners name the first shock came. We were not allowed to drive the car in the country.

At all.

Keyes were taken and our dear lovely T-Rex was put in the impound lot.

No problem though, we were told.

Just come here with the previous owner tomorrow morning and it will all be fine.

The fact that T-Rex at this point were our home and contained all our earthly possessions including our bed for the night seemed to be a totally irrelevant point to the customs staff.

We were forced to check in at the "cabinas" at the border. A shack in the words true meaning, walls threatening to cave in at any second, ants all over the floor, electrical wiring sticking out here and there from walls and ceiling, leaking toilet and a hose for shower. The madras were only marginally thicker than the sheets covering it and if one did not lie down straight away there were severe risk of falling through the floorboards of the bed.

The price of this cockroach Hilton?

$20- on par with any AC-equipped hotel room with pool access and ocean view balcony anywhere else in the country.

Supply and Demand in true play.

Saturday morning at 06.00AM we tell our story to a local cab-driver who kindly agrees to drive us all the way to the previous owners house for a greatly reduced fee. We arrive and wake up J, the previous owner of T-Rex, K, his Nicaraguan girlfriend wife, L, his 6yearold autistic son, and U, the housemate who is kind enough to lend us his truck. Without much further ado we are off.

Back at the border we are passed from one customs officer to the next. We wait, we tell our story, we get help with translation from K, we get sent to the next person, and is back at square one.

Finally, after a good 5 hours of waiting and being shoved from one person to the next we are shown in to someone that is supposedly some sort of boss. We suspect that the only reason that the person in question has this title is due to threats to either eat or sit on anyone who objects with him. Without so much as a look at us he waves us away, saying "lunes, lunes" repeatedly (meaning Monday).

We emphasise the fact that this is our one week holiday and that we LIVE in the truck they without apparent reason has impounded, and that we have complied with every instruction given to us, including dragging the previous owner and his whole family half way across the region on his day off to get this problem solved.

The obese man shoots us a look like we were the bastard children of two scabby street dogs and says without effort to hide the sarcasm; "I guess you have to buy a Motel then"... He then returns to his papers and refuses to answer us any more.

J, K and U are nothing short of angles and puts us up on their living room floor for the weekend, taking us along for what turns out to be a fantastic kite-surfing weekend, gives close to free lessons in the sport and lends us anything and everything we need to compensate for our "stolen" stuff.

(click to enlarge)

Monday morning 07.30AM we are once again back at the border, autistic son and all, making a new attempt.

The first information we get is that everyone we would have to speak to, pay, or see, in order to get the truck back spent a very calm day at the office on Saturday, having all the time in the world to process our matter, had the fat idiot just felt like pointing us in the right direction.

Great start.

We are then shoved from one desk to the next, forced to employ an import agent, an attorney as well as pay the import tax of the truck immediately. (Despite the legal documents being valid for a good week more. )

The truck must then be imported in J's name, which for some unexplained reason nullifies a suggested fine of $500 for me driving the vehicle without permit. This does however adds another two visits to the attorney, including a legal transfer fee of $70, and additional paperwork. We run from office to office, person to person, all the while with L picking at peoples desks, the heat driving us mad and conflicting information is given to us constantly.

At 4PM we pay the import tax on the 17 year old, slightly rusty truck; a whopping $2,400, almost 100% of the value of the truck.

An hour later we are once again called in to the customs office where our import agent pretends(?) to argue in our favour over a matter of the model of the truck. We are told that the "standard" model of the T-Rex does not exist in the Costa Rican vehicle-database. The very same public online database that we several times consulted during the day to determine the tax amount.

The "semi-full" version does however exist. At a premium of an additional $400.

We are, after straight-out offering the chief of the customs office $100 cash to solve the problem, told that sure, we can, in fact, import the truck as "standard".

All we have to do is take pictures of the truck, send ALL technical data, including engine manufacturing codes and factory information to San Jose and thus "create" the "standard" category that supposedly now mysteriously does not exist.

The process time of this is estimated to between one and three months.

During which time we OBVOUSLY can not use the truck.

I hint a smile in the face of the custom officers face as we realize that our only chance of getting the truck back is to pay the made up fee.

So we do.

At three minutes to five the chief of customs comes out, tells us it is all taken care of, goes back in to the office and comes out a little later, not saying a word, turning the corner and picking up his pace. As we follow to get a proper confirmation his steps turn into an outright run and at the backside of the office he jumps into an idling awaiting car and speeds off.

I guess this is normal behaviour of the senior officor of the customs office here in paradise...

As our customs agent appears some time later we are suddenly very short of time and has to sign the dotted line and run over to the impound lot with some 20 pages of supposedly legal documents in different copies and piles to get the truck back before the station closes for the day. (That the station on Friday night were open five hours longer than on a Monday seems strange to no-one but us.)

We are told that we will have no problem with the police and will not have to do the technical inspection until a few days after Easter week.

I avoid looking at the papers too closely as all chiefs at this point has fled the office and drives away from the customs office of what is described as the most evolved and developed country in Central America.

Does any of you want to bet any money of what the truck finally got taxed as?

"standard" or "semi-full"??

I hope you had a nice Easter holiday for those extra $400 Mr. Chief of Customs.

Now I just fear what else than engine number they have left out of the documentation to create problems for us at the next stop in the import process of this wild west of this bureaucracy infected, complicated, illogical system... My guess is that we have another 4 days and hundreds of dollars ahead of us before we are done with the tax papers..

At night we did our best to help J out to fix and service his motorbike and left relived and a little guilty late Monday night, knowing that they would all have to go through the whole process again tomorrow in order to get his motorbike to Nicaragua for the holidays..

[the week then continues and we have a wonderful time without bureaucracy-hugry idiots]

(click to enlarge)

As we arrive back to our exit of the "highway" after a fantastic end of the holidays we are waved in by a traffic police. The American plates on our car sparks a light in his eyes like a child before a Christmas tree.

We show him our new papers.

No.

We are not allowed to drive the car, AT ALL, before inspection and national plates are taken care of.

We try everything, including a lot of references to the prestigious institute where I study and mentioning of a imaginary lawyer that has booked us an appointment with the inspections. We are told we would have to tow the truck to inspections and then find storage for it while waiting for the national plates to be done.

(All of which I suspect to be complete lies)

A long while of broken Spanish later I try to steer the conversation to alternative solutions of the problem. He tells me how much problems TOURISTS cause by complaining of corruption and causing problems for him and his colleagues.

I outright ask "how much".

He sais it's up to me so I reach for whatever spare cash I have (less than $16) and he walks away without a word.

I guess little has changed in the real world here in paradise..

As we arrive back "home" we find that the guarded community we live in has had burglars for visit over the holidays and two of our friends have lost their fairly expensive new lap-tops.

Not strange since almost every door on the residential buildings can easily be opened by any amateur with a screwdriver..

Still sad for our friends who feel so unsafe that they decide to terminate their stay and return to their respective country. Will miss them dearly.

To the institutions defence security is beefed up around the house in question, an intermediate fix is applied to the door (hardly increasing the difficulty of entry, but still) and rumours of full compensation for the lost lap-tops circle the campus.

A week after the incident no official announcement has still been made from the institution.

Tags; Import a car to Costa Rica, Study abroad, bribes, corruption, taxes, bureaucracy,

Due to popular demand and the fact that some people still refuses to use FaceBook, here is a presentation of T-REX, our latest family member.

She has a few problems to sort out and will have to have new licence plates to be fully legal here in paradise, but is already serving us well :D

Enjoy!

Toyota T100 SR5 -93 "T-REX"

Manual transmission 5speed, V6, approx 155k miles

Box raised, camping equipped.

(Click to enlarge)

The beige at E's knee is a bed (approx 200x140cm)

Under that there is space for luggage and boards. (Fit E's 7'3 SuperFish, my 6'1 short board, tools, bags and various other stuff with no problem)

In the front (towards the drivers cabin) there is 2x coolers (one 80-90 Litres and one 15-20 litres)

Propane kitchen with double burners, 30 Litres water tank.

The truck also has a 20volt Solar panel and an Inverter to both charge the battery, plug in Lap-tops, Phones etc as well as a USB-socket for any iPod charging or other IT uses...

Roof racks are being manufactured to hold a 190x120 expedition tent and lockable long board racks.

Just let us know when you want to come visit! :D

**Update 20 March 2010**

- Complete engine&chassi cleaning

- Electricity re-wired to converter and solar panel

- Interior fabric washed

**Update 15 April 2010**

- A new rear right leaf-spring is ordered and a new parking break cable will be installed during the weekend.

**Update 19 April 2010**

- New shift leaver seat ordered from the US- will be installed as it arrives. (Thanx Mitch for bringing it and Marlin crawlers for producing and selling!)

Due to some of the activities in my everyday life here in my new paradise I have started reflecting over how little time, and sense, people put in their written presentations and correspondence.

A case in point, found at a presentation site for part-takers in a web-based course in eCommerce made me laugh so hard I am afraid the chair I am sitting on might have suffered irreversible damages.

The presentation of ones profile was one of the students first assignments in web presentations.

"My name is ******. There is nothing interesting to tell about me."

Seriously? Nothing?

And this is a person that takes part in a entrepreneurial course focused on optimising the visual and functional presentation of goods or services for sale online.

Good luck kiddo!

.... but what the hell!?


 

Here it goes;


 

Who the hell needs IT support! ?

 

Short story;

 

1. I have relocated and therefore received a brand new email address (with a max capacity of 200mb). To be able to save mails and use automatic translating tools I try to forward all mail to my private Gmail address. The Server refuses to recognise that something like Gmail ever existed on the internet.

 

2. As my level of foreign is close to non-existent, I send a mail, politely explaining the problem, to my "contact person".

 

3. After a few days I get an email back saying that IT has now resolved the problem.

 

4. What problem they solved, I do not know.... but my mail, they remain in my new huge new inbox..

 

5. I once again email my "contact person".

I again explain the situation and thank her kindly for the time she spent trying to resolve this.

 

6. I get a very neatly produced screen-dump-email from IT teaching me how to set the filter in return.

Of course, in exactly the same way as I have just done.

I try. Again.

Works about as good as trying to manually jumpstart a jet plane on an icy road.

 

7. I email back to the "contact person" and kindly explain the situation. (While my new mail overloads due to 2 e-mails with attachments, and therefore refuse to receive any other mail)

 

8. The reply from the "contact person".... Never comes.

(Maybe her email was overloaded?)

 

9. After 2 weeks I grow tired and email directly to IT.

I formulate the email as convincing and about as careful as a condemned man with one single chance of pardon. I use all persuasive techniques I can think of and I am also careful explain my previous contact with IT and as well as the "contact person" in this matter. Off course I also include the error messages that I received when I tried to set the filter.

Finally I submit the letter in two languages with my sincerest apologies for my poor level of foreign, even if I am sure the text is fully comprehensible since I've had it edited by several native speakers.

 

10. After 4 days, an email appears, showing me a list.

In foreign.

The list kindly explains to me how to set the filter.

Again. In. Exactly. Same. Fucking. Way. As. I. Have. Done. The. Whole. Damn. Time.

 

...........

 

 

 

Well... Thank you then IT.....

 

 

UPDATE!!!;

 

Today, the following arrives in my inbox;

 

"Do you want? forward your emails from your account ***** to Gmail?"

 

*FACEPALM*

 

 

Why bother!? All I SHOULD (yes, should) have done is said;

 

"Forward not work.

Want forward from *** to ***

Fix. now. YES?"

 

 



 

 

 

 

This post is dedicated to S.C who is trying to teach me persuasion, and to Anders for being a great inspiration.